WAR IS OVER (If you want it)
I just got off the phone with my friend Henry, who is currently marooned at the Atlanta airport. The news came down the wire this morning that the British have foiled a terrorist plot to blow up in the neighborhood of 10 jet planes with liquid explosives. I'm here to tell you that the era of terrorism is over. The jihadists have finally gone and fucked with the wrong people. I certainly wouldn't want to be the one responsible for denying women their shampoos, lotions, and perfumes. If my theory holds, the ladies of the world will rise as one and put an end to terrorism once and for all.